Being friends with me consists of me sending you bad jokes at 2:47 in the morning
listen up you motherfucker
Ben Wyatt: Human Disaster
I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals. It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.
Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.
I love how she reaches up on her tippy toes to snuggle into his shoulder.
To be more exact, that’s a hen. Which is the female. This is likely not his first encounter with her. My grandpa had chickens and hens, and if you visit them frequently like this they develop affection to you. I would know, because I sat in the chicken coop alot. The hens get a small maternal kick, and come to cuddle you because she wants to keep you warm, like she would do with her chicks. This means the boy has spent alot of time with her, and that just makes it more heart warming.
this guy would survive in movies
girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.
are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face
act like a bitch get slapped like a bitch
If you’re going to pull a prank like this you’d better be prepared for the consequences. I’m just saying…
If you defend a guy for his nudes getting leaked (“aw it’s okay we still love you1!1!1!!!”) but then shame a girl for her nudes getting leaked (“what a slut she shouldn’t have taken them in the first place!!1!1!!!”) I hope you step on many lego pieces at once.
whenever i have those brutal searing being-dissolved-from-inside period cramps during school or work i pretend i am a viking warlord who has been stabbed in the abdomen but i killed the assailant so i’m the only one who knows im injured and i have to carry on normally til the end of the battle to keep up my mens morale
this is good
Gonna adopt this method of dealing